WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!!!

Picture this:

A class of 2nd graders on the second day of school, all sitting in a circle while we are playing a hand game that focuses on steady beat. All of a sudden you hear from one of the male students......

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!!!!! We have to stop!"

I ask in an extremely confused manner, "Um, why?"

The boy says, "Because my pants are falling down, but I don't know why because we're sitting down right now! What is this world coming to?!"

And so it begins.....

Boys Will be Boys...

Male 1st grader: "Um, Ms. S., I would just like to let you know that I'm allergic to pink."

S**t My Students Write When They Get in Trouble

I swear, there was no beaver.

S**t My Students Talk About at Home

Student: "Mrs. S., how old did you turn today?"

Me: "Well, I don't normally tell my students, but today I turned 28!"

Student: "WHAT?! There is NO way you're 28!"

Me: "Haha, why is that?"

Student: "Because my mom says you have the porcelain skin of an angel, and a 28 year old definitely can't have skin like that."

Seriously, what do these kids talk about at home?!

S**t My Students Say That I Don't Understand

I forgot to tell you...

Student: "Um, Mrs. S?"

Me: "Yes, dear?"

Student: "I forgot to tell you that Gabriel farted on us."

S**t my students draw on their assignments

You are 20-year-old college students turning in graded work.

No, cations are not ions with cats in them.

No, galactose is not an in-human, sword-wielding piece of a totem poll.

No, pandas have nothing to do with molecules in the brain.

And no, unicorns are not, in fact, scientific in any way...

Isn't that Illegal?!

My students have been learning about Johann Sebastian Bach, and of course, the two things they ALWAYS remember is that he married his cousin and that he had 20 children (only 10 survived to be adults).

We've been watching an educational movie called "Bach's Fight for Freedom", and there is a scene where a boy is having lunch at Bach's house. At the beginning of the scene this is what I heard from a sixth grade student....

"OH MY GOD! IT'S HIS COUSIN!!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWW!"

I then had to explain that they were just actors, and that it wasn't real. Then he says....

"Wait, so I can marry (name of his cousin inserted here, who is sitting in the same classroom) and that's not illegal?!"

Me = hand slapping forehead
The student's cousin = face turning bright red

Just a typical Monday here.

Awwwwww......wait, what?

Kindergarten student: "Mrs. S! You look so pretty today!"

Me: "Awwwww, thanks!"

Student: "Why don't you look pretty every day?"

Sad face.....

Google?

Me: "Bach was born in 1685 and died in 1750. How can we find out how old he was when he died?"

Student: "Go to Google?"

O. M. G.

You painted that, right?

So, over winter break (which was glorious, btw), I had my hair colored a little darker with chunks of bright red put in it. I was in need of a change and was feeling a little funky. Upon my return to school after the new year, the students all loved it and thought it was great. Here was one student's reaction:

Student: "Your hair looks WAY better like that. Did Mr. W paint it for you?"

(Mr. W is the art teacher)

Me: "Um......no?"