S**t my students draw on their assignments

You are 20-year-old college students turning in graded work.

No, cations are not ions with cats in them.

No, galactose is not an in-human, sword-wielding piece of a totem poll.

No, pandas have nothing to do with molecules in the brain.

And no, unicorns are not, in fact, scientific in any way...

Isn't that Illegal?!

My students have been learning about Johann Sebastian Bach, and of course, the two things they ALWAYS remember is that he married his cousin and that he had 20 children (only 10 survived to be adults).

We've been watching an educational movie called "Bach's Fight for Freedom", and there is a scene where a boy is having lunch at Bach's house. At the beginning of the scene this is what I heard from a sixth grade student....

"OH MY GOD! IT'S HIS COUSIN!!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWW!"

I then had to explain that they were just actors, and that it wasn't real. Then he says....

"Wait, so I can marry (name of his cousin inserted here, who is sitting in the same classroom) and that's not illegal?!"

Me = hand slapping forehead
The student's cousin = face turning bright red

Just a typical Monday here.

Awwwwww......wait, what?

Kindergarten student: "Mrs. S! You look so pretty today!"

Me: "Awwwww, thanks!"

Student: "Why don't you look pretty every day?"

Sad face.....

Google?

Me: "Bach was born in 1685 and died in 1750. How can we find out how old he was when he died?"

Student: "Go to Google?"

O. M. G.

You painted that, right?

So, over winter break (which was glorious, btw), I had my hair colored a little darker with chunks of bright red put in it. I was in need of a change and was feeling a little funky. Upon my return to school after the new year, the students all loved it and thought it was great. Here was one student's reaction:

Student: "Your hair looks WAY better like that. Did Mr. W paint it for you?"

(Mr. W is the art teacher)

Me: "Um......no?"

Such a Jerk!

As one of my First grade classes is walking in, a student hands me a present!

Me: "Awww, thank you SO much! I can't wait to see what it is!"

Student: "Merry Christmas!"

Other Student: "Wait, I was supposed to get you a Christmas Present?! God, I'm such a jerk!"

Don't You Know ANYTHING?

Me: "So where are your parents from?"

Student: "Honduras" (in her lovely hispanic accent)

Me: "That's awesome! I've been to Honduras!"

Student: "Um, it's not HAWN-DER-US. It's OHN-DOO-RRRAS. I thought you could flip your R's. Don't you know ANYTHING?"

(I couldn't make this up if I tried.)