Such a Jerk!

As one of my First grade classes is walking in, a student hands me a present!

Me: "Awww, thank you SO much! I can't wait to see what it is!"

Student: "Merry Christmas!"

Other Student: "Wait, I was supposed to get you a Christmas Present?! God, I'm such a jerk!"

Don't You Know ANYTHING?

Me: "So where are your parents from?"

Student: "Honduras" (in her lovely hispanic accent)

Me: "That's awesome! I've been to Honduras!"

Student: "Um, it's not HAWN-DER-US. It's OHN-DOO-RRRAS. I thought you could flip your R's. Don't you know ANYTHING?"

(I couldn't make this up if I tried.)

Only 7 Consonants?!

In 6th grade chorus.....

Me: "Okay guys, remember, you always need to annunciate the consonants that are at the end of words so that the audience can understand what your saying."

The class stares at me like I have three heads....

Me: "Who can raise their hand and tell me some consonants?"

Students raise their hands, and I call on one....

Student: "Can I tell you ALL of them?!"

Me: "Sure!"

Student: "Well, there's Europe, Asia, North America, South America, Australia, Africa, and Antarctica, but not very many people go to Antarctica."

Me: (slaps hand on head) "No dear. Not CONTINENTS. CONSONANTS. You know, like vowels and consonants?"

Student: "Ooooooh. Well then I don't know."

Will the Real Mrs. S Please Stand Up?

According to my substitute on Friday, one of my kindergarteners asked, "When is the REAL Mrs. S coming back?"
Cause you know, she was the fake one.

Chicken Nuggets, cont.

THIS happened last week:

I have a group of 7 fourth graders in my room right now because they are 'leftovers' and aren't taking strings this year. At this exact moment, they are all sitting in a circle on the floor while playing recorders and making up songs about chicken nuggets. It goes like this: play a bunch of random notes on the recorder, then "Chicken nuggets are so good! They are called chicken nuggets and not chicken tenders because they are like little nuggets of gold!" Then play a bunch more random notes on the recorder.
Apparently this is the next verse...."We'll throw away all the chicken tenders of all time! And when we're older we'll go to heaven with our chicken nuggets!"

THIS happened 25 minutes ago:

I was walking through hallway and out of the blue I hear "...little nuggets of gold!"

He was TOTALLY teaching the chicken nugget song to a kindergartener. SO. AWESOME.

Awwww, nuts.

We've been reading the story of "The Nutcracker", as well as listening to the music. Today, one of my 1st grade classes earned a 'free day' in music and they chose to color pictures of a Nutcracker while listening to the music. The picture has a nutcracker standing there with different kinds of nuts (cracked and uncracked) laying around it. I entered this conversation at the wrong time....

Student: "Do you like my nuts?"
Other student: "Woah, those look REALLY good"

I assure you he was talking about his picture. Hopefully.

You're a 10!

From a 1st grader....

Student: "Mrs. S, you're a ten!"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Student: "Ya know, like, on the hotness scale. At least, that's what my dad says."